May Flowers
“April showers bring May Flowers.”
Seems like we were just saying here in Chicago that this shelter in place order sucks, but at least spring is coming; then winter made a few reappearances, as it tends to in that transition to spring. We think of things like weather changes as curveballs, but something as big as a pandemic is a reminder that the unexpected will sprout up here and there all the time. That’s just life.
I tend to turn to my yoga practice for familiarity and getting grounded and comfortable. Then there are times when practicing yoga makes me face the uncomfortable things in my life (it can be anything, from tight hip muscles to a realization that I’m not happy with a certain situation). That’s when another aspect of yoga comes into play that helps me deal with difficulties and it’s called tapas or tapasya. Last year, I wrote a 4-part series on tapas from the viewpoint of a mom practicing yoga. Let’s revisit tapas here, given everything that’s going on.
Tapas translates as austerities or discipline. As I write that, it sounds sort of old-school. We’re not hermits, after all, sitting in a cave all alone practicing poses that look more like crazy Cirque du Soleil stunts. In fact, sometimes we moms long to have a moment alone but we don’t have that cave to retreat to, and it’s often the simpler poses and practices that benefit us most. Often, we need simplicity, and a break from pushing ourselves to stay on track because momlife is 24/7.
So how do yoga mamas incorporate tapas into their practice, especially when they feel like life already requires so much discipline because we’re constantly juggling our families’ needs?
Sure, yoga offers a sort of path to follow through what seems like the randomness of life, but sometimes we have to be the trailblazers and I believe that is one great lesson we can take away from this COVID-19 pandemic.
Luckily, the act of becoming a mother forces you to become a sort of trailblazer. Your life changes and while you can’t go back to exactly how you were pre-kids, that can actually be a good thing. But, life is not a straight-and-narrow path and while the practice of tapas makes it sound like life should be straightforward, simple, and limited, I see it more as a spiral path, where we revisit the same things over and over but from a higher perspective each time.
So we practice tapas through our focus on the simple everyday tasks we do with our kids and around the house and also through our flexibility of attitude (not just the limberness of our bodies). We have the most effect through a gradual effort, somewhat like the slow, steady force of a tide. Back and forth, like a pendulum, waves wash over a coastline and change the shape of it; back and forth, we move from the kitchen to our kids, to work, and maybe out into the community for an errand or meeting of some kind. We wear multiple hats and in that way, we can be shape-shifters in our yoga practice, and I don’t mean just changing the shape of our bodies, but of the contours of our minds, emotions, and habits.
Over the winter, I’ve been fairly successful at keeping up my morning and evening meditation practice, but only because I kept my goal small and attainable (5-7 minutes of meditation) and I devoted myself to doing that first thing when I wake up and last thing just before I go to sleep. I didn’t ever go as ‘deep’ as I have in longer meditations (30-60 minutes), but over time I felt more grounded just by making a little space for myself at the beginning and end of the day.
Often, those 5-7 minutes of being fully with my body, breath, and thoughts gave me the momentum to be more fully in all the other areas of my life: things like playing with my daughter, cleaning the kitchen, and sitting with my husband on the couch to chat most nights. I might feel like a pendulum sometimes, constantly swinging this way and that to attend to the various things in my day. But it’s always that lingering at the end of each swing - a moment of pause, a short meditation, short breaks when I stop to fully spend time with my daughter - that give me momentum to make that swing without feeling pulled in ten different directions.
Spring might not completely be here to stay yet, at least not in the warm, sunny way that I like it. But that swinging back and forth between sunny days and rainy ones sparks my appreciation of the rhythm of seasons. This COVID-19 pandemic is a ‘season,’ my current pregnancy is a season, life with young kids is a season. I hope you feel inspired to blaze your own trail through what feels like chaos and be creative and flexible with your yoga practice and your life! Sure, these things move through us, but we move through them, too.
What’s blooming in your life and yoga practice, after this downpour of chaos?