“The smallest of actions is always better than the noblest intentions.”
-Robin Sharma
What is sankalpa? Do you find it or create it? Listen for it, or say it out loud?
I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I taught yoga in gyms for long enough to watch people flood the gyms with their well-intended resolve to get more fit, only to stop coming mid-February or March.
In yoga, we make changes in our lives and ourselves, keep ourselves on our path in life, and connect to our True Selves with sankalpa. New Year’s Resolutions can help us begin to do these things, but sometimes they are just goals that our egos create. Resolutions can be superficial, which is not to say they have no value, but that they are just the beginning of an action we might take to make meaningful change.
For instance, you might have the goal to lose weight or get more fit. Nothing wrong with that, but what’s driving you toward that goal? A sense of self-care, a desire to be healthier for yourself and your family, or a feeling of dissatisfaction with your body? Sit with your goal, reflect on it, talk about it, journal about it. Whatever the catalyst for your goal, listen to that and see how it might connect you to a bigger goal, like, “I am worthy of care,” “I am healthy and whole,” or, “I am strong.” Even if you don’t feel those things at the moment, how can you connect to these overarching statements about who You are amidst the ups and downs of momlife?
Affirmation or Intention?
A sankalpa can be either affirmation or intention. It might be, “I am peace and light,” or “I am resilient.” Other times it might be, “I care for my body with yoga and exercise.” These types of statements can feel contrived when you’re stressed or feeling inadequate, though. I’m not asking you to ‘fake it ‘till you make it,’ though. You might know that you are peace, light, calm, and resilient, even when you don’t feel it in your bones. So how can you make an affirmation or intention when all you feel is the stress, overwhelm, or inadequacy that so many moms feel from their everyday lives? It doesn’t usually work to just parrot back some positive statements you read or hear about.
These types of affirmations or intentions only become true sankalpas after you listen for the ones you connect with and sit with them. Think of it as similar to getting a song or story stuck in your head, so much that you begin to see traces of it in your life.
How? And where does it come from?
In her article How to Create a Sankalpa, Kelly McGonigal says, “Discovering your sankalpa is a process of listening. Your heartfelt desire is already present, waiting to be seen, heard, and felt. It’s not something you need to make up, and the mind doesn’t have to go wildly searching for it.” My favorite ways to get in ‘the zone’ so that I am ready to connect to a true sankalpa are meditation and yoga nidra. With these practices you can calm your overactive mind and connect to all the other parts of yourself like your emotions, your will, your heart, and soul. In that way, sankalpa is not just a resolution from your mind, but a resolve that comes from the totality of you.
In this document, you can find more specific guidance on discovering your sankalpas and planting the seeds for them to manifest in your life. It’s not just sitting down and thinking about what’s lacking in your life and setting a goal to fill that gap. It’s actually somewhat the opposite: it’s noticing where you might be disconnected and then finding ways to realize and remember that you have what you need, or that you at least have what it takes to fulfill your desires.
So, take some time at the start of the New Year and this New Moon to sit and listen. Maybe a little writing or even chatting with a friend can be forms of listening to what your heart is saying. Because sankalpa is more a practice of listening to the heart and inviting the mind to cooperate.
New Moon and Sankalpa
We can connect to sankalpa any time, but new moons are also a great time for intention, reflection, and sankalpa. Before the moon waxes, the dark moon offers a time of pause, somewhat like that pause after a full exhale. Try breathing out and experience that in your body: exhale all the way without straining to empty the lungs, count to three with the breath held out, then let the inhale slowly fill your lungs without effort. What did you feel in that pause with the breath held out? Try it again and again. It is a way to experience on a micro level what it means to pause and listen during new moon.
So, what are your intentions, resolutions, and goals for this New Year? What about for this new moon? How can you take that smallest action, as Robin Sharma says in the quote at the beginning of this post?
Happy 2022, Yoga Mamas! I’ll check back with you all at the full moon to see where we’re all at with this practice of sankalpa.