On holding and being held part 2
When you don’t have a yoga strap…use what you have on hand!
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
-Anne Lamott
How often during the day are you holding one of the following: your phone, the steering wheel, your child, or a dirty dish as you wash it? Holding takes more than just hands; you hold with your whole body and that is something I learned through my babywearing years with my daughter. Now, in my second pregnancy, I remember what it was like to hold a baby in my gut. It shifts more than my center of gravity. It changes the flow of my day as I move more slowly, try to take care of myself by not lifting heavy things (including my daughter), and modify my exercise and yoga routines to suit my energy level and changing body.
Lifting a heavy 3-year-old while carrying a baby in my womb make the dynamics of holding weight more noticeable: holding something takes core strength as well as good positioning of the arms, back, and legs. But because of the pregnancy, I can’t use my core strength in the same way as I did when I wasn’t pregnant. I need to either ask for help or modify the way I lift and hold things. I have to make sure to bend knees as I lift and lower, use the muscles in my legs, keep my spine lengthened, and hold loads close to my body. These are all good practices for anyone, pregnant or not. In some cases, I need to accept that for the time being, I shouldn’t lift things over a certain weight.
But the smaller things that I hold: my phone, my purse, the steering wheel as I drive - these are also moments where I collect tension in my upper body even when I’m not bearing much weight at all. Now and then, when I notice it, my years of yoga practice shine through and I remember to exhale and release that tension. But the trick is remembering to relax - that is the biggest challenge in taking yoga off the mat.
Let go of what doesn’t need to be engaged. This is a piece of advice that I’ve repeated in yoga classes to my students countless times. For instance, when in warrior 2 with the arms extended out to the sides parallel to the ground, release your shoulders, jaw and facial muscles. The power and engagement should be mostly in the lower body, with minimal effort in the upper body except the muscles in the arm and shoulder that need to contract to lift the arms. The muscles that need to engage in this pose are those that help us navigate the force of gravity and also ones that help stabilize our joints.
Here are my latest experiments with using yoga to hold things efficiently and to give myself a moment to be held by my practice.
Holding
Practice postures with palms up. Notice how that external rotation in the shoulders opens up the chest and the breathing. Example: warrior 2 with palms facing upward.
Bend the knees in standing poses (yoga teacher and chiropractor Garrett Neil share some ideas on best practices for this here and here). This helps to release the low back and keep the tension out of the upper body.
Move and shift the pelvis around. Play with the movement, with no exact alignments. Remember how I said holding involved core strength? The position of the hips affects how we use our core. Hold a yoga block or something of similar weight in your two hands. Tuck and tilt the pelvis and notice how that feels in the core and back. Does it shift the posture in your shoulders? Do you feel your weight distributing differently on your feet (on the balls, on the heels, or somewhere in the middle?).
On hold
Now put things on hold and find stillness. That is the essence of savasana that we (ideally) practice at the end of a yoga session on the mat. I would add to Anne Lamott’s quote above that yoga is about unplugging from distractions so that we can plug into a deeper awareness of our bodies and breath. I know that sometimes, it seems less important to get that short bit of rest at the end of a good yoga session, but even a minute or two being still at the end can really help you feel grounded after practice.
Not everyone loves the feeling of lying on their backs on the hard ground, though. Let’s admit it, our yoga mats don’t provide tons of cushion and even with a blanket to cover us, that flat supine position doesn’t always facilitate a very deep release.
Here are some ideas for helping the body feel supported so you can create that coziness that helps you let go and feel held:
Support yourself with bolsters. Try reclined butterfly with support under the back and knees, or supported child’s pose. If it’s cold, drape a blanket over yourself to add another element of coziness.
Sit in a comfortable seated posture against the wall so that your back is supported. Use a cushion or folded blanket under the hips if sitting up tall is difficult.
Give yourself the gift of yoga nidra. There are free ones online you can listen to as you substitute this more meditative practice for a nap. Here is the site I use.
I hope you feel inspired to give yourself time to put your busy day on hold and relax into a moment of deep rest that you deserve! And throughout the day, notice how you hold yourself as you go about your day. Let go of that tension in places where you don’t need to engage (like when standing in line somewhere- no need for shoulders or jaw to engage!). It’s great to take time out and meditate, but to carry that awareness into our daily activities is a powerful way for busy yoga mamas to keep in touch with life as yoga practice.