“Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.”
-Dion Fortune
Being a mom can be hard! What is even more challenging is being a mom and keeping up a regular yoga practice. Then again, if you get creative and find ways to weave yoga into your life, it can make being a mom a little bit easier. Real yoga — not just postures done mechanically or without connection to your breath, mind, and spirit — can make life as a mom less stressful and even more meaningful.
It’s not just what you do on the outside; if we connect what’s going on within to what’s happening around us, we can stay healthier and more balanced. We are constantly navigating tough emotions and impossibly busy schedules; it seems there’s no time for anything extra. But it only takes a moment to check in with yourself to get clear about what you’re feeling and what you need to stay balanced in each moment.
Inquire within
Is it a funk or a mood? Sometimes I don’t even realize what my mood is, or that I’ve been in a funk, until I stop and really feel. Truly noticing and recognizing takes both the heart and the mind as we sense into our emotions and observe our thoughts.
I actually get into funks regularly because I often let stress and emotions pile up. So, first let me extend some compassion to myself for this tendency that I have of letting my feelings get backed up; then, I need to actually do the work of inquiring within so that I know what’s going on and what I need in the moment. Next, I’d like to invite you to learn from this habit of mine. How can you keep things from accumulating in your mind and body?
The answer is easy to state, but somewhat difficult to implement: inquire within. Just ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now? What is on my mind? How can I describe the sensations in my body at this moment?”
It’s pretty simple, but the hard part is remembering. Choose a few times in the day to check in with yourself. Maybe every time you use the restroom, eat a meal, or sweep the floor. Choose something you do at least 2-3 times a day, but not so many times that it becomes cumbersome (we can’t be introspective 100% of the time!).
After you check in, take action. Do one thing, even if that thing is doing nothing.
Do one thing
When I’m in a funk, sometimes I’m restless. Other times I feel stagnant (especially in the winter, when I’m tired of the cold, dark days). For those restless times, things like meditation, yoga nidra, or just pausing for a few deep breaths can help me shift my mindset. Then again, for some people, meditation or slowing down can feel frustrating or difficult if they’re really wound up or dealing with difficult feelings or life situations.
If you find it hard to get out of a restless mindset, go with the flow: burn off that anxiety or frenzy. Move it out of your body and mind with physical activity, whether it’s with a yoga sequence on your mat, a walk around the neighborhood, or pushing the vacuum cleaner around the living room. After you let off some steam, those three deep breaths feel more calm than confining.
This can work for when you feel stagnant, too. Focus on picking just one thing, however simple or mundane, to completely devote your attention to. If you want to stick to traditional yoga practices, I recommend deergha swasam or bhramari (a.k.a. bee breath).
It might take some experimentation to find what works for you. But don’t skip that first step of inquiring within; that’s what will help you find the actions that help you shift your mood. Think outside the box! Yoga isn’t always practiced on a yoga mat or meditation cushion.
Switches and buttons
Maybe it wasn’t just one event that put you in a bad mood or funk. I bet, in your life as a parent, there are at least a few things that push your buttons. Okay, let’s be real — you don’t have to be a parent to have your buttons pushed, you just have to be a human. So, what are those buttons?
Again, inquiring within will be the key to finding those buttons. Once you find them, our next goal as Yoga Mamas isn’t to avoid having them pushed, because they WILL be pushed over and over. Our challenge is to find a switch in our minds or bodies that can help us to deal with our automatic reaction to having our buttons pushed.
Oh, it’s not as easy as I wish it were! I get super frustrated, stressed, and flip my lid, just as we all do when we’re tired and have no time for a full hour of yoga. But…when I am good at letting off steam at regular intervals with one of these ‘switches,’ then I’m not as likely to completely lose it. I can’t promise you’ll feel super zen and perfectly unshakeable all the time, but you find yourself more often riding the wave of your emotions without completely flipping out.
It takes time and practice. But most of all, it takes devotion to what you’re doing. What can function as your switch? What helps you to catch yourself in a moment of stress, pause to contain it, and give it a little space to vent without becoming a full-blown storm?
Not sure? Here are some ideas! Some you might think of as yoga while others might fall into the broader category of self-care. I say, done with the right intention, something as simple as drinking a cup of tea can be part of yoga practice!
Yoga Magic
In an attitude of play and wonder, I thought we could think of these yoga ‘switches’ as a sort of magic trick. I’d like to go with Dion Fortune’s idea of magic as “...the art of changing consciousness at will.” Nothing supernatural there, just a simple, methodical way of choosing our response to things.
So, since we don’t have a switch we can flip to make stress and pet peeves go away, yoga helps us find a sort of internal switch to manage our emotions and stress. Choosing the most effective switch is very personal: maybe listening to a particular song lifts me out of a funk, whereas that same song might annoy you. Or, stopping to take a few deep breaths might keep you calm and collected when your toddler is having a tantrum, but make another mama in the same situation feel stifled.
What’s a mama to do, then, if there’s no prescribed way to get out of a mood or funk? Just try some things! Think of it as play or experimenting with self-care. Here are some of my favorites:
Make a cup of tea
Go for a walk
Chat with a friend
Listen to music that is uplifting or relaxing
Do a short yoga sequence
Go to a yoga class (if I have time)
Read something uplifting or inspiring, even if it’s just a brief quote
Meditate
Do yoga nidra
Take three deep breaths or do something that gets the breath and heart rate going, even if it’s scrubbing the bathtub (I’m totally serious here:)
Look at a picture of a place that makes me feel happy, relaxed, inspired
Do a backward bend, no matter how subtle or simple
Nothing fancy here, just things that make me feel better. Try some, or brainstorm your own list. Then give yourself permission to make time for the things you come up with.
Look up
The last item on my list of yoga switches is to do a backward bend. It doesn’t have to be a full, dramatic spinal extension like urdhva dhanurasana or ustrasana. It can be as gentle as interlacing the fingers behind the back (or just reaching back if your fingers don’t touch) and looking upward.
How much time do we spend looking down at the kids as they play, at the baby as we nurse, or at our phones? Give your neck a little love and your mood a little lift with a gentle backbend.
Take a little time every day to look up and your body and mind will feel at least a little better! And looking forward from here, every month I’ll share a little bit on working through a funk, navigating difficult emotions, and embracing the difficult parts of our days. It only takes a moment to flip your lid, but then again, often it takes just a moment to flip your inner switch to avoid disaster. Try it out — it’s so often the little things in life that make a difference.